are your people your people?

Are your people your people? What a big question. I often find myself asking this question a few times a year, especially when I start to hangout and meet new people. It is easy to put on goggles and be blind to a situation. You may think someone is so loving and awesome when in reality, the friendship or relationship can be pretty harmful to you and you just do not realize. But you need to ask yourself, is this person one of my people? Am I growing from this? Am I going backwards in my personal or spiritual growth from this relationship?

This past year, I hung out with a few new people. I thought that I was benefitting because I thought I was having fun at the time. The minute I got home I was upset and felt ashamed of who I was surrounding myself with because I knew I was not growing personally or spiritually from these relationships. I no longer spend as much time as I used to with them and I have found myself in such a better mindset. I find myself stronger mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. I have grown in so many way and this is the best I have ever felt in the longest time. It's because I am surrounding myself with people who are working towards a similar goal and who have the same morals and beliefs.

1 Timothy 4:12 | You are young, but don't let anyone treat you as if you are not important. Be an example to show the believers how they should live. Show them by what you say, by the way you live, by your love, by your faith, and by your pure life

The right people for your soul are different. They hear you differently. They show up differently. They nourish you differently. That is how you will know. Live the life you want to live and do not let others influence you to live otherwise. Be the example. Live how you say, how you love, and be yourself.

A place is only as good as the people in it. Read that again. A place is only as good as the people in it. I hope you make yourself that one place you always come back to, no matter how far life takes you. For me, that one place is my people. Whether it be family members related by blood, one of my "fake cousins," my sorority sisters, or my closest friends... I always come back. My place is good because of the people I decided to put in it. I chose to surround myself with people who have the same values and beliefs as me. People who see the good in everything and everyone. People who look out for one another and can always count on. Surround yourself with people who allow you to grow, not people who tear you down and keep you from being you.

Throughout college, there have been seasons in my life where I disappear for a little bit and just get caught up in the busy season. I won't hangout with certain people as much as I normally do or I will not be around in general as often. However, I always find myself coming back. These people are like a magnet to my heart. They are constantly pushing me to be the best version of myself. They are always providing words of encouragement and being there when I need them.

"Love others so radically they wonder why"

There's a Bible verse that I am sure everyone has heard, 1 Corinthians 13:4–8. It is the verse that states, "Love is patient. Love is kind. Love does not envy or boast. Love is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with truth."

One thing that I like to do is reread this verse over and over again... but I replace the word "Love" with someone's name. For example, let's use one of my best friends Mae Mae. I would read this and say "Mae Mae is patient, Mae Mae is kind." All of these things about her are true. She is one of the most caring and kind souls I know. Now if there is someone in your life that you consider "your people," try this exercise. Are they kind? Are they loving to you and your friendship? Are your people your people?

Know your worth, never accept anything less from someone. Choose someone who genuinely cares how their actions impact you and your life. Choose someone who wants to show up for you in the hard moments too. So ask yourself again...are your people your people? Remember to always do what is best for you to grow and be the best version of yourself and remember to always give grace:)